PolyBlog

Help Poly solve mysteries, uncover strange plots & go behind-the-scenes

at the Wonderlens Amusement Planet!

A new clue is added DAILY, Monday Ė Friday

 

Below is the month of May.

New clues are added daily to the BOTTOM of the page.

PolyBlog also appears daily on Lycos at http://poly256.tripod.com/PolyBlog/

Back to DAY ONE (April)

 

May 1

Blogging on Empty
Well, we NOW know the Besmous are very adorable and have some freaky super-powers.

Not sure that really helped, but there you go.


But it still doesnít help us with Astralís holo-blog. Once we run out of Besmou Cola, weíll need to find some other way to turn the pages 2D so we can read Astralís messages.

Wow, itís really getting DARK down here. I wonder whyÖ
ÖOUCH!

HEY - somebody ran into me...

GRAB HIM!

02 May 2003 10:44 PM PDT

Darkness Falls...then gets right back up

 

Itís a Lampyre!

STOP HIM!

uh...stop HER!

...it?

WAIT a sec.

If THAT's a real Lampyre, I'm a real blonde. Heck, I don't even HAVE hair.

And THIS...
is just some joker DISGUISED as a Lampyre. Letís just get this hood off and see who...


Well, doesnít THAT just figure! Itís one of the Greys.

HEY, I recognize this guy. His name is Yerg. Heís the one I ran into in the parking lot. He swiped some of my spare parts and then tried to SELL them back to me and ÖNOÖI do NOT want to buy some "genuine alien artifacts."

Save it for the tourists, buddy.

Although...this MASK does look pretty authentic.

HEY! Did you swipe this from THE SHOPS?

 

 

05 May 2003 6:19 PM PDT

Grey Area

Ok, buddyÖtalk. What are you doing lurking around down here dressed up like an oversized shadow puppet, peddling HOT SOUVENIRS?



What?! Uh...SLOW DOWN!



Yerg says got he lost on his way to a St. Flatulentís Day parade.

Nice try.

But I happen to know that a group of thugs dressed like Lampyres came down here looking for trouble. Where are the rest of your buddies? And why were you chasing after my friend Astral?



Yerg says he doesnít know ANYTHING about the others. SAYS he made a wrong turn at the BLACK HOLE BUNGEE JUMP, saw the others going through the WORMHOLE and followed them in.

He swears he thought it was a shortcut to one of the After Parade Parties.

06 May 2003 5:20 PM PDT

Playing the Odds

Sorry, Yerg.
Iím not buying it.

I mean, whatís the likelihood of a Grey, dressed up like a LAMPYRE just happening to run into another group of guys who ALSO just happen to be disguised as Lampyres?

Okaaay, there WAS that one time I ran into three different groups of Earthlings dressed as Vulcans, but that was at a convention in Vegas and Iím not really sure whether that last bunch was Vulcan or RomulanÖbut thatís NOT the point!

I think weíd better make sure Yerg here isnít carrying any weapons. The Greys make some SILENT but DEADLY fart grenades.

Uuummm. So do YOU wanna SEARCH HIM?

 

07 May 2003 10:35 PM PDT

Joker's Wild


Oh, VERY funny!

REAL mature.

The BATTLESLUG DRUM-BUZZER was a cute touch, Yerg.

I admit, ya got me. Now let's see what ELSE you have UP YOUR SLEEVE.

 

08 May 2003 12:00 AM PDT

Wrong Turn at Hogwart's

WONDERLENS WRISTBANDS?

Shooting Stars, Yerg! Is there anything you HAVEN'T tried to steal? No...don't EVEN answer that. Just empty your pockets.

...AND the utility belt.

Look at ALL THIS STUFF! He's got half the Gift Shop stashed inside his belt!

...And whatís THIS?



Itís a BESMOU magic wand. Itís Astralís Besmou wand Ė the one she uses to decode her holo-blog!

Yerg must have gotten Astralís wand from her desk!

Remember when we went to search ASTRALíS OFFICE and it was SWARMING with Lampyres? Those werenít real LAMPYRES at ALL Ė it was Yerg and his buddies in these GOOFY DISGUISES!

08 May 2003 10:00 AM PDT

Colorful Language


hey...HEY!

Puh-leez, Yerg.

There's NO need for THAT kind of language. I don't need to be a TRANSLATING ROBOT to figure THAT out!

 

08 May 2003 10:06 PM PDT

Sweet Talk

It's up to YOU, Yerg.
Do I have to spell it out for you, or should I just
DRAW YOU A PICTURE?

You can either tell us what you're up to RIGHT NOW, or we can send you back through the WORMHOLE and you can have a nice chat with our friend Noir.

Heís a REAL Lampyre, by the way.


Iím sure heíll be VERY curious to know why you and your CreEpY little buddies have been lurking around WONDERLENS disguised as LAMPYRES.

But uh...just to warn you...I hear Lampyres can get pretty mean when they've had one too many Pop Tarts.

...and did I mention that Noir has been on a Tart binge for two weeks running? He should be reaching critical mass at any moment.

Trust me, Yerg, you do NOT want to be anywhere NEAR a Lampyre who's about to go Sugar-Nova.

Not Pretty.

If the initial blast of super-heated fruit filling doesn't kill you, the flying bits of toaster pastry will. The sugar frosting ALONE can put your eye out!


Ok, then. Let's TALK.

12May 2003 11:16 PM PDT

BOO


Yerg says they all belong to BOO? What the heck is BOO?



Hmmm...he says it stands for the Brotherhood Of Opportunity. Itís some kind of Grey secret society...I guess.

Sooo...what...are you guys some kind of intergalactic terrorists or just greedy criminal masterminds?

Or do you just have WAY too much FREE TIME?

 

 

13 May 2003 8:17 PM PDT

It's a Living

 

Yerg swears he's not a criminal mastermind.


Yeah...somehow, I'm inclined to believe him.

He SAYS, that members of B.O.O. dress in disguise and travel from planet to planet, yelling ďBOO.Ē Apparently people GIVE them things to make them GO AWAY.

OK...he says TECHNICALLY speaking, people THROW things at them to make them go away. But sometimes they throw something good. Like candy!

Hey, YOU...Poly to Earth person! Don't they have something like that on your planet? I think itís called trick or treat.

Ok...enough with the OFFWORLD TRIVIA. That STILL doesnít explain why Yerg had Astralís wand.

Iím pretty sure she wasn't handing THOSE out with the mini-Snickers.

14 May 2003 10:48 PM PDT

Quest for Skittles

 

Yerg says he never SAW Astral. Says his boys only went to HER OFFICE to bum some candy.

Yeah, yeah...
I can relate.

Ever since they stopped making computer chips with silicon and started using high fructose Sucrosium, I've had a constant craving for Skittles.

Anyway, when the Greys got to her office, Astral was already gone. Yerg grabbed a bottle of
Besmou Cola

from Astral's desk, but it spilled all over the Greys and turned them 2D. Yerg knew that the only way to get back into 3D was to use more Besmou magic. That's when he spotted Astral's Besmou wand.


Yerg grabbed the wand, but when he heard US coming, they all ran.

Yerg and the other Greys headed for the basement to hide. But once they got down there, they were distracted by the aroma of freshly mini-ovenned Pop Tarts.

They followed the scent all the way down to the BLACK HOLE BUNGEE JUMP.

They walking right into a bunch of REAL Lampyres passing through a freshly baked WORMHOLE.

Yerg says he just followed them in. Thought maybe there was some kind of Pop Tart motherload on the other side.

Like I said...probably NOT criminal masterminds.

 

15 May 2003 10:20 PM PDT

Lost and Spaced

 

Alright, I guess we've established that the Greys aren't exactly at the TOP of the evil genius FOOD CHAIN.

According to Yerg, here, once he and the other Greys popped through the FRESH WORMHOLE, the REAL Lampyres VANISHED, the B.O.O. dudes panicked and Yerg here got hopelessly lost.

Yerg says he's been wandering through the tunnels ever since.

And nobody gave him so much as a box of lousy RAISINS. Poor guy.

Now that you mention it, he DOES look a little woozy.


Well...I guess we can give him one of the last bottles of Besmou Cola.

Now that we have ASTRAL'SWAND

we can use THAT to decode her holo-blog.

Plus, the pages are getting kind of soggy. Man... Astral's going to go thermonuclear when she sees what we did to her blog!

Oh-oh. Is Besmou Cola RADIOACTIVE? The holo-blog is starting to GLOW!

19 May 2003 10:13 PM PDT

Must Be Monday

Duh! Astral's holo-blog is GLOWING because Astral is trying to CONTACT us!
(I KNEW THAT!)

Let's hope this Besmou Wand works!


Nothing is happening! The pages are still BLANK!

 


Uh...Yerg...ol' buddy...this is the REAL wand, isn't it?





Well, then why isn't it working?


And WHY does it have a PRICETAG from the
Wonderlens SOUVENIR Shop?!!!

 

20 May 2003 5:44 PM PDT

One Magic Wand...Coming Up!

Alright Yerg, cough up the REAL wand.

I KNOW you have it.


Wow.

He really did
COUGH it up.



 

Ick.

 

It's covered with Besmou Cola and...YOW - what DID you eat for LUNCH, Yerg?

I thought you said you were a VEGETARIAN!

Never mind.
Just tell your FORMER LUNCH to keep his tentacles to
himself.
All that wiggling is kinda creeping me out.



Okaaay...let's make some MAGIC!

 

21 May 2003 5:21 PM PDT

Astral at the Edge
...A little wave of the magic wand and....



It's WORKING!

Dear Poly,

I've finally reached the end of the tunnels. You won't believe what I've found! There appear to be ancient ruins miles beneath Wonderlens! I'm standing now at what seems to be the edge of a huge, underground city.

How is this possible? Our research proved that this planet was never inhabited. I studied the scans myself. I would have seen any tunnels, much less a whole city, but the scans showed nothing like this! All we saw before was solid rock.

I'm going to run some tests. I know, I shouldn't waste what little air I have left, but I need to understand what's going on here! This isn't what I was expecting to find.

I'll blog again in just a nano. I'm going to climb up higher - try to get better readings. There's some kind of temple up ahead. Hopefully my Illumoths will give me some better light up there. For some reason, the wings of all the moths just suddenly stopped glowing. It's like something SUCKED the light right out of them. It's getting so dark.

Astral - out.

 

21 May 2003 9:25 AM PDT

Ölater that day

 

Well, THAT's not good.

Either Astral's
Illumoths just went on strike or the LAMPYRES finally caught up with her!

 

 

22 May 2003 5:14 PM PDT

The Hidden City
Did Astral say she found RUINS of an ancient CITY beneath WONDERLENS? But that's crazy!

Maybe she just found a flock of
Castellar Reefs?

 

They ARE cities...sort of. Ok, technically they're floating sandcastle cruise ships and yes, the average Castellar Reef is about the size of a basset hound, but...

Ok...forget THAT theory.
Astral is NOT talking about a Castellar Reef...she must have found a real-live CITY!

And if anybody can figure out who built it, Astral can. She knows a LOT about...well, pretty much everything that has to do with alien civilizations. I mean, that's why she's the youngest Head of Humanoid Resources we've ever had at Wonderlens.

It usually takes CENTURIES to learn what she knows about offworld cultures...especially the Architecturals. You know...the BUILDINGS and STAIRWELLS and RESTROOMS that are really ALIEN BEINGS.

Didn't you KNOW?

Pretty much every THING at Wonderlens is...well...not exactly a THING. Most of the buildings here are EMPLOYEES.

They're living architecture. They even have their own union: M.O.R.T.A.R. It stands for the Masonic Order Regulating Thinking Architecturals' Rights. Astral is president of the local MORTAR chapter, you know.

 

23 May 2003 5:25 PM PDT

MORTAR
I just remembered - the Masonic Order Regulating Thinking Architecturals' Rights is the reason Astral came to WONDERLENS in the FIRST PLACE.

Astral used to be a
field researcher for M.O.R.T.A.R.
We had some labor problems at Wonderlens when the amusement planet was being built, so Astral was sent in by M.O.R.T.A.R. to smooth things out. She did such a great job, she was hired as Wonderlens Head of
Humanoid Resources.

Everybody thinks Astral is just here to keep the
RestRoomulans from going on strike or to make sure the SENTIENT SENTRIES get hazard pay when flammable guests like the Vulcan Peebles visit.

But Astral does WAY more than that.

She's the one who FINDS the right species to work at Wonderlens. Heck, she finds the right species to BE Wonderlens! From the
Elektros Eel fences to the flocks of Floradendrons we employ as landscaping, most of the Wonderlens park is MADE of EMPLOYEES. And Astral DISCOVERED most of them.

Sure, she hasn't discovered nearly as MANY new species as
Max Darkstar, the W.A.R.P. team leader, but Astral has found the really USEFUL ones. Max tends to seek out the flashy types. You know...the creatures who spit 50 meter jets of acid or have head-mounted buzz saws and toxic farts. Must be a "guy thing"

WAIT...speak of the devil...I'm getting an incoming message from
MAX!

 

27 May 2003 8:25 AM PDT

a Message from Max Darkstar
Hey Poly!
I hate to hog your blog, but I didn't know how else to contact you. All the communications sytems have been acting screwy today. I hate to even mention it though - the last time I complained that I wasn't getting my phone messages, the phone BIT me! Maybe I should have Astral Geode have a talk with it. Him. Her?

Speaking of...have you seen Astral lately?

She missed this month's M.O.R.T.A.R. meeting. Not like her to just not show. Nobody else seems to have seen her either.

...And now YOU'RE nowhere to be found! What's going on, kiddo? If you're in any kind of trouble, you know you can always ask me for help.

By the way. The Poly-256-B, your backup model is doing a...errr...decent job of filling in for you while you're gone, but DON'T think ol' Max can't tell the difference! Your copy just doesn't have the same personality.

Actually, the 256-B doesn't really have ANY personality. I just asked her "what's shakin'?" and she spit out a report on recent seismic activity.

Hey, did you know we've been having a bunch of small earthquakes here? Well, not RIGHT here, but MILES below Wonderlens. Weird, eh?

Anyway, the Poly-256-B will never replace the REAL Poly.

Plus, the 256-B still thinks she works in fast food. Yesterday she kept trying to round up the Sentries and paint them yellow.

She kept saying something about "golden arches?" Must be something from her old programming.

I'd better go now. I just saw her glide down the hall with a bucket of yellow paint. Again.
So long for now, kiddo.
You know where to find me.
Max DStar
 

27 May 2003 10:18 AM PDT

Later That Day...


SHOOTing stars!
I wish I
COULD ask Max for help!

WHY did I
EVER promise Astral I'd keep my mouth shut?

I don't even
HAVE a MOUTH!

 

28 May 2003 11:22 PM PDT

Hey...Astral's HOLOBLOG is glowing again.


Yerg, have you got the
BESMOU's MAGIC WAND?

Well ok then...
Hit it!


        ...it's working!

 

 

29 May 2003 11:00 AM PDT

Nobody Home

Dear Poly,
It's the oddest thing...I could have sworn I just heard Max Darkstar's voice. I guess my braincells are finally going. Not much air left. I climbed up to the temple, but the gates are locked. Nobody home. From the looks of it, nobody's been home for about a thousand years. I'm so tired. I'm just going to close my eyes for a moment. Everything's getting so dark. Sun must be setting early tonight.

Astral - out.

 

30 May 2003 10:30 PM PDT

Lights Off Ė Astral Out

Wake UP Astral!

Continue to Month 3 (JUNE)